Things I learned in Mexico

Ok...not so pissed off today....sooo...here is a list of things I learned while on my vacation in Mexico:

Mexican spiders are just as scary as American spiders...except they are more colorful.

Tequila does not make you smarter, but enough of it will get you to speak spanish better.

Trivia can be violent if played with the right people

Shuffleboard can also be played "Full Contact"

30 minutes of Jet Skiing will hurt and old person

60 minutes of Jet Skiing will hurt a young person :-)

Dodgeball is a young mans sport.

Red Dodge Ball rash hurts just as much as when you were a kid

Asking a Mexican shop owner if he has a shirt that says "I hate Mexicans" or "White Power" will get you some funny looks.

Asking Mexican's if they speak Mexican rather than Spanish apparently is an insult.

Telling a Mexican that "Your more like a Mexi-can't" will increase the amount you pay for tourist shirt.

If you skin color is BROWN and you are wearing a shit that says HORSEMEN (of Judgment) on the front you will be stopped by customs coming into the country.

If you make fun of a BROWN person being checked by customs you will also be checked by customs.

Customs agents have no sense of humor.

Telling a customs agent that he is a racist and that he is profiling you when your white won't help.

The answer to a customs agent for "what is in this suitcase?" should not be "A hooker, drugs and some fruit"

...it should also not be "A million dollars....or is there a million dollars in there..."

Kidding about bribing a customs agent is a Felony.



More later!