Things I can't do to supplicants

For those of you who asked....here ya go



Things I am not allowed to do to supplicants

I am not allowed to take pictures of my fighters who disappoint me and place them on e-bay as a used pell.

I am not allowed to sell the souls of any of my fighters to Satan, even if it is to make them stronger.

I am not allowed to use my supplicant as a personal floatation device. Even if I have already tested his buoyancy by marching him into a lake

I am not allowed to chop of an inch on someone's sword just to watch the "wiffs!"

No matter how funny it is to me personally, I will not put rookie fighters into my armor carrying my shield and send them onto the war field.

I will not have my fighters go and challenge Sir Bob who is old and slow when it is actually Super Duke Jade

Contrary to what I may have learned in the military, 10 shots at 2 in the morning the day before war is NOT good training.

I'm drunk is not the answer to any Marshall question

Despite proving that it is period I am not allowed to pee down from a castle onto the enemy

I am not allowed to use a great sword to prove that the pen is mightier than the sword

I will not make my fighters who have pissed me off guard things like a single blade of grass or pretty rocks.

A short sword and some privacy is not the way to help a depressed fighter.

Despite the accuracy of it, we cannot charge naked into battle.

I am not allowed to lead any type of coup for the crown

I will not push my supplicants valiantly onto pikes to save our unit.

Giving a class on sword polishing should actually involve the steel object used for fighting, not a piece of anatomy.

We are not the knights who say, "Ni"

I am not allowed to lick my supplicants so no one else will want them

After signing a waiver, I will not have new fighters sign life insurance policies.

I will not refer to Sir Mohammad as "Sir Mo"

I will not use religious items on fighters who Rhino shots

I am not allowed to cover the eye slots of new fighters and tell them to block by reaching out their feelings

I will not ask ladies new to the SCA to help me release my tension prior to a tourney.

I will not ask to see a female fighters boobs to make sure her chest armor is properly constructed…even if it is for safety's sake

I will not use prisoners of war as slaves, even if they were captured fair and square.

I will not refer to my lady as the "other sword sheath"

I may no longer introduce myself a "The God of Bow-chic a wow wow"

After complaining about how many battles we have fought, I will not have my fighters go look for their balls in their armor bags.

I will not have female fighters remove an article of clothing for each Rule of the Lists they miss.

I will not give 3-d glasses to my fighters to mock their pathetic attempts to block trick shots.

There is no eyewitness ass kicking team and I cannot call them when Raynor loses a fight.

When asked "How'd I do?" by new fighters I will not hand them rakes and tell them to take up farming.

The correct answer to how did you hit me with that shot is not "Magic".

I will not sell add space on the Frey's shield no matter how big they are!

I will not put a picture of my X on a Pell and tell all my fighters to "slap a slut"

I will not name swords shots that I teach my younger fighters "Ass tappin" or "Slap a ho"

A cattle prod is not a training device

I will not drop chia pet seed into helmets

I will not refer to my heavier fighters as War Pigs

Despite being well documented in Roman Warfare I will not try and light my pigs on fire and launch them into the startled enemy ranks