WTF?

I am not really sure how....

...and I didn't even really know it was possible...

...however, I actually fucked up sleeping.

Yes, it is true. Somehow, I have managed to not sleep correctly. This involuntary action that most people take for granted, is apparently a bit more difficult for me. Although I thought this would have been a no brainer...I have seemed to not do it right.

The day before yesterday I woke up with my neck crooked at almost a 90 degree angle. When I tried to sit up, what felt like a cutting tourch, shot pain down my shoulders, downt he center of my back and into my lower back.

Despite the fact that I had done NOTHING the day before it felt like I had spent 8 hours doing aerobics in my sleep. I am not sure what is really going on. I don't get it. I can only assume that in my dreams I am one active fucker.

Almost crippeled with pain I tried to get out of my bed and looking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame at bell ringing time, I hobbeled to the toilet, only to be surprised once more on this fine morning. In what was an unbelievable shock to me, it actually hurt to pee....and when I say hurt I don't mean like I said "ouch". I mean it hurt like someone had dropped a house on me. Despite the fact that my body had already contorted to what was least painful common denominator on my walk to the toilet, as soon as I felt my body prepare to release the fluid it had been holding my neck sent shock waves through my entire body. With my knees buckeling I damn near fell to the very familiar floor in the bathroom (please see birthday blog). Although I wish now were time to brag, apparently there is some connection with my penis and my neck. With pain riddiling through me I tried to put both arms out to help hold myself up on the walls, (which unfortunatly released the little fireman), however, I was not able to lift them any higher than mid chest. I did mange to prevent myself from falling, however, it was gonna take some time to clean up.

I did manage to finally pee and make it out of the bathroom. I collapsed back onto my bed which was like returning to the seen of an assault. I laid there wondering how the hell you can get a sleeping injury. Worse yet, how the hell will I be able to tell people that I am injured due to sleeping. It's not like a sleep injury is something warriors brag about. On the contrary its actually something they laugh about. Dear lord, am I getting that old (A RETORICAL QUESTION!).