Horsemen Headlines

Headlines that would not surprise me. I was tired and some you may really need to think about....



Bakersfield Man Drops Dead - Thor

Woman Kills Judge and Two Attorneys with Bow and Arrow - Guess

Man Breaks Work Week Record - Brogan

Man Killed in Violent Checkers Game - Tahira

Cat Woman Dies, 278,000 LOLCATS Found in Home - Jadye

Man has Heart Attack, but Won’t Let Paramedics Take Him to Hospital Until He Finishes- Thor

Whore Killed in Checkers Game - Raynor (See Tahira above)

Woman Wet Wires into LINUX - Jadye

Another Panda Mating Fails, Man Takes Over - Pandora (You gotta think about this one!)

Marriage Ends in Smashing Climax - Haruka

Captain Morgan Kills Woman - KK

Chewbacca Murdered by Crazy Arizona Woman - Ulyssess

Woman Breaks Ankles of Writer to Get Him to Finish Chapter 10 - Jadye

After Starving on a Deserted Island for 17 Days Man Comes Home to Find Mother Murdered and He Was Then Arrested for the Murder but Set Free Only to Find Out He has 4 Weeks to Live, However, After a Visit to Guam is Cured, but Gets Bitten by a Deadly Guamanian Fruit Bat, Only to Find Out He is a 1 in 7895643429 Chance to be Immune to Fruit Bat Poison so He Makes it Home Again just in Time to Be at the US Festival Only to be Trampled by the Crowd and Spend 5 Weeks in Hospital...but is in Good Spirits. - Archibald

World Famous Painter Returns to Working at Starbucks - Starbuck

Several Men Eaten by Wild Boar During a Hunt - Thor, Alexander, Raynor

Local Drummer Beats Woman to Death - Giaus

Man Makes Record 12th Appearance on Jerry Springer Discussing Family - Lucion

Woman Makes Record 12th Appearance on Jerry Springer Discussing Family - Athena