You might be a Horseman if...

If you have ever purchased armor on E-bay only to find out you once used to own it….or you made it

If you have ever had grill shaped tan lines across your face

If you have ever been mistaken for a KKK Grand Wizard because of your fighter tunic

If you have ever had a conversation with your weapons

If every time you get your film developed you have to say, "Gee I wonder whose dick this is?"

If you have ever gone to bed on fire

If you have ever slept through your tent burning down

If you have ever hit the ceiling while vomiting because you know Alexander says always keep your head up

If you have ever been so drunk you couldn't work a port-a-potty

If you have ever worn a Horsemen fight tunic to church





If you treat you armor better than you treat you woman.

If the answer to every question in life is "God wills it".

If you have ever played dodge ball with arrows

If you genuinely think you are dying and your first thought is "I need my sword"

If you have ever lost a friend because you didn't fully explain what happens to someone if they pass out at a Horseman party

If your vocabulary is filled with the phrases "God hates a coward", "I love the grind" or "It's what we do"

If you have ever owned a pet and named it Alexander….especially if it's a pig

If your kids have ever pulled guard duty

If you have ever edged your lawn with a spear

If you bow string gets waxed more than your car or your body

If the only time you speak to god is over a toilet or in a bed

If you have ever been proud of breaking a thrusting tip…with your face

If you have ever taken a six pack cooler to court

If a Marshall has ever called for back-up prior to checking your armor

If the police have ever surrounded your house

If you have a goal to have sex in every SCA castle you come across, straw, wood, rubber or stone…

If you have ever woken up with a black eye and a hickey

Despite seeing the proof, if you are in 50 pictures and you don't remember a single one!

If you have ever been removed from fighting for poor judgment only to be placed on the field as the guy who judges the fighting.

If you have ever left a war site and the entire 25 Infantry Division has gotten up to salute

If you have ever eaten frozen pizza without cooking it

If your babies first sentence is "open up, police!"

If you have ever gotten drunk and then been thrown into jail and when you got out of jail got drunk to celebrate

If you have ever used an entire first aid kit in a weekend.

If you have ever slept with Raynor