Horsemen of Judgment Keep

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Posts : 107
Join date : 2010-05-30
Age : 42
Location : Wintermist

PostSubject: Treachery   Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:22 pm

For those of you not keeping up on current events, we recently went to war! As per usual we were ferocious on the battlefield and psychotic at the party. A good time had by all….However, that is not what I want to discuss….

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Recently we have had the good fortune of recruiting several younger members into our ranks of Horsemen. Yes, the household has some new blood to help bolster our ranks. It is about time that we veterans can finally pass on the torch and let some young bucks make the legends. However, that is not what I want to discuss….

I am so very……………………….happy…………………….to see our new fledgling supplicants as they prance around after numerous hours of fighting without even a suggestion of soreness. Watching them consume HUGE amounts of alcohol without even a hint of a hang over the next day. They spryly jump around after a full day of fighting and night of drinking as if they could do it over and over again….meanwhile I can barely make it out of my tent due to the fact that I am moving like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz prior to being oiled! (What really pisses me off is most of these young little shits didn't even get that reference!) My entire body is punishing me for what I did in the war. This is of course, without mentioning the new "sleeping injury" I sustained in the night for some unknown reason! As I breach my tent (which is an appropriate word because I fell out of it like a newborn leaving the womb.) My first thought is about the sun….GOD DAMN THAT IS TOO LOUD! Followed by the "runners high" I just got from expending all my trying to sit up! The pain from my hang over is so focused that I can see individual air molecules moving. When I finally make it to a chair and sit, the second thought I have is the possibility of hooking up an I.V. drip of coffee as I wonder if brewing is really a necessary step in the consumption of coffee. My first thought of course being how can I kill everything younger than me. The only solace I get during this time is the fact that most of them are following my commands and I may have the opportunity to kill them.

Signs your becoming an older Horseman:

There is a definitive "huff" inbetween "For Harry!" and the charge screaming "into the breach!"

New Supplicants keep calling you Sir despite the fact you have no white belt!!!

You begin to wake up as supplicants are going to bed

Your out of breath walking to the battlefield

The term, "Old age and treachery" are continually applied to you

People ask if your fighter card is made of papyrus

If you have ever been asked if your armor is ACTUALLY from its time period

The phrase "Dirty old man" begins to be applied to you

Supplicants refer to your armor as antique

The only person screaming in your tent is a child

After a battle while laying in your tent recovering, dead relatives visit you and ask you to join them

Still, despite the fact that I hate you young fuckers….as any good leader should, I wish to pass on these words of wisdom. Take these words of wisdom and when you find yourself doing them…remember you are now officially drunk…go to bed:

You accidentally role your tent down a hill. ß Thank you Malachi

You go into your tent … on fire … and don't notice ß Thank you Giaus

You pee inside your own tent ß Thank you Christian

Trees begin to chase you ß Thank you Lan

You can hear a mime ß Thank you Josef

You cry and laughing 8 times in a one minute period ß Thank you Raynor

Some guy keeps asks you, "Can I film you?" ß Thank you Rook

Teddy bears in your tent keep bullying you ß Thank you Tahira

If you call the Obsidian Guard the Ebony Guard ß Thank you several people

You begin to talk to yourself, disagree about the subject and then refuse to talk to yourself for the rest of the night ß Thank you Eckard

You find yourself playing 3 man….alone. ß Thank you me

You have an irresistible urge to discuss quantum physics but most of the big words don't come out right ß Thank you Jayde

You climb into the wrong tent to have sex with someone and then try to have sex with the person who is there. ß Thank you again Eckard

You find yourself apologizing to a port-o-potty ß Thank you Lassy

You find yourself naked with your penis in your hand in the Royal Encampment ß Thank you ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Duncan

You are unable to work the door of a port-o-potty and have to call for help to get it open ß Thank you Chastity

You find yourself naked holding a spear ready to charge INTO CAMP ß Thank you again Christian

You find yourself naked holding you penis standing on a castle made of hay screaming "Come and take my sword bitches" ß Thank you Rook and Me

How to know you had to much to drink the night before and that you should probably start apologizing to everyone you meet:

If you wake up in armor

If you wake up with an open condom wrapper besides you and you are not sure where the condom is

If you wake up and its easier to throw your tent away rather than clean it

If everyone keeps pointing at you but you can't hear what they are saying.

If you wake up holding a port-o-potty.

If you wake up IN a port-o-potty

If you wake up in someone else's tent, but you don't know who

If you came with someone but wake up alone

If you wake up with fingernail marks down the FRONT of your body

If you wake up and don't know either of the people you are sleeping with

If you wake up because you distinctly keep hearing you name being said by the people who are already up

Warlord Jayde
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