Threat Level

While trying to explain to my son about marriage I passed on to him several of the things I have learned. When I could see that not all this information was going to be taken in I decided to make him a chart and perhaps other men may benefit from this as well.

Female Threat Level:

Severe, High, Elevated, and Guarded

"I'll be ready in a minute" – although innocent sounding enough a guarded threat level is encouraged. This is usually a trap. If you get comfortable she will be ready and rush past you and then demand to know why she is always waiting on you. If you stand at the ready you will normally get an earful of "Why do you always have to rush me!"

"Its your decision" – it most certainly is not your decision. Although this has a guarded level threat it should be noted that if you decide to make it your decision this could turn inot a High or Severe level threat.

"We need to talk" – This is never anything good. Although it might just be a chore, be prepared for the worst!

You have to learn to communicate – The translation for this is "Just agree with me". Severe threat if you cannot "communicate" immediately.

How much do you love me? – She had done something wrong! Immediately check all the things you treasure in the house.

Do you love me? – She is preparing to ask you for something you do not want to give her! It's usually expensive, cute and something your friends will make fun of you about.

I'm sorry – Danger, Danger, Danger. You are going to be the one who is sorry!!!

Do what you want – You are in serious danger. She has already calculated any response you may have and you are probably already dead.

Sure...Go ahead - Move very slowly and get out of the house. She knows what you did.

I'm not upset – If she has gone to a state of calm, everything you own is already gone. You bank account is already empty, she has already called into your job and reported you as a child molester and the police are probably already on the way to take you to jail for abuse. Do not try and save anything run if you value your life.

Is my butt fat? – You have only one chance. Tell her she is beautiful as fast as us you possibly can.